Exploration of Gender and Self through Cosplay

Even though it’s going to be 52 years since Stonewall, members of the LGBTQ+ community are still facing just as much backlash and danger from the community at large. There are still conversion camps, and there is little to no LGBTQ+ information in sex education classes in the US. In addition, there are 22 states and four territories where there are no state laws or policies against conversion therapies, according to the information gathered by LGBT Map. 

CNN’s Maria Morava and Scottie Andrew covered the jump in the LGBTQ+ population in “More Americans are identifying as LGBTQ+ than ever before, poll finds.” The most recent US census tallies the LGBTQ+ population at nearly 18 million. Such information may come as a surprise at first, along with the thought that being LGBTQ+ may be a trend. However, the truth is that there’s simply more information about being LGBTQ+ being shared, and those who are LGBTQ+ aren’t staying silent anymore. 

The 20th century was a turning point for gay history. It was a time full of gay liberation and immeasurable sorrow. There is a lost generation of gay men and women who died because of the HIV/AIDS epidemic, the disease that was seen as a marker of immorality. Coupled with the loss of research from the destruction of the Institut für Sexualwissenschaft in Berlin during the Nazi regime of Germany in the 1930s, this set back the normalization and understanding of the LGBTQ+ community as well as what it means to be LGBTQ+.

Gender Fluidity

Even further, GLAAD compiled a set of statistics (and information about being transgender) that shows the discrimination faced by transgender members of the population. For example, over 70% of LGBTQ+ homicide victims are transgender.

The textbook definition of transgender is someone whose personal identity doesn’t match up with their birth sex. This can be their gender identity or their gender expression; trans in and of itself is an umbrella term for a wide range of identities. As a result, there’s an entire vocabulary associated with the transgender community (and with the LGBTQ+ community at large) that is ever-evolving. The Trans Language Primer is an archive that helps keep track and explain the various terms and provides resources for anyone who wants to be an ally and educate themselves or learn more about themselves.  

While strides have been made, there are still organizations and individuals who stand against these identities. 

The Vatican, in 2019, delivered its opinion that gender is fixed. Jason Horowitz and Elisabetta Povoledo of The New York Times covered it in their article “Vatican Rejects Notion That Gender Identity Can Be Fluid.” Even more recently, Arkansas outlawed gender-affirming treatment for trans youth in 2021. CNN’s Devan Cole covered it in “Arkansas becomes first state to outlaw gender-affirming treatment for trans youth.”

Always Here

Michela Guilfoyle, a cultural heritage worker, and archaeologist at the Royal Agricultural University in Gloucestershire, England, sat down to explain that the fluidity of gender expression is entirely human. In her studies of the Bard’s plays, she pointed out that playing with gender identity and crossdressing is a constant theme in the works of William Shakespeare. Another point she made was in studying pre-Columbian civilizations that prove that there was a diversity of gender and sexuality historically. Particularly amongst the indigenous peoples of the world. This last point is further covered in the works of queer scholars such as Qwo-Li Driskill.  

Before the Western world came in contact with the indigenous nations of Northern and Southern America, there was an understanding and acceptance of the fluidity of gender. As a result, Two-Spirits have existed in Native communities for countless generations. They have a variety of different names and tribal-specific roles amongst the various tribes. Two-Spirit serves as an umbrella term for those with both a male and female spirit inside of them. It does not serve as a catch-all for a gay indigenous person. 

This is comparable to the sacredness with which transgender individuals were historically treated in ancient India. They were considered near-godly beings and held places of honor in Hindu mythology and in holy epics. It was even forbidden in Hinduism for transgender individuals to be abused in any manner or come to harm, lest the wrath of the heavens descends upon those who harmed the favorites of the gods. However, all this changed with the arrival of British colonial rule, and a law was passed in 1871 that firmly identified transgender individuals as criminals. 

It wasn’t until 2018 that the World Health Organization removed being transgender from their list of mental illnesses. Setting aside the centuries of stigma worldwide, it’s still illegal to be transgender. LGBTQ+ rights are still being fought for, and LGBTQ+ history is constantly being uncovered again.

LGBTQ+ history is attempted to be buried time and time again even though it has existed since before there has been terminology for it. The first trans clinic in the world, the Institut für Sexualwissenschaft, would have been a century-old if the Nazis hadn’t torched it in 1933. More than 20,000 books were lost that day when the Institut für Sexualwissenschaft was destroyed. Many of them were rare copies of books that provided a history for nonconforming people. The years of research and data were also never recovered. 

Cosplay

Performance Art in a Digital World 

When considering performance art, cosplay may not immediately come to mind. The word “cosplay” is already a simplified version of the term “costume play” and ranked amongst the various forms of performance art. A variety of disciplines are included within that range, varying from theatre to dance or music. The prevailing theme, whichever discipline is used, is the expression of emotion through the performance. 

In the case of cosplay, it’s embodying a character from a form of media (books, television, games, or movies). In portraying a character (or one’s interpretation of a character), the cosplayer has various avenues available to them for mastery. There’s the use of makeup to consider (and bodypaint for the cosplayers who take that further step) and cosplayers who make their cosplays from scratch. The world of cosplayers delves in even deeper, some cosplayers even focusing on pursuing mastery of one craft while they commission their other pieces from other cosplayers. 

Some of these cosplayers operate as boutiques or small studios with their shops open on digital platforms (most can be found working on Instagram) and appearing at conventions. These are often passion projects or side hobbies. The business itself isn’t often lucrative. Exceptions to the rule can be found, such as the boutique Firefly Path (custom orders can run upwards of $2,000 USD) being an example of this. There are more companies that cater specifically to cosplayers. Arda Wigs is a well-known supplier of wigs for cosplayers and performers.

The continued rise of TikTok has created a platform for cosplayers across the world to come together and even for this type of performance art to evolve further. It mimicked the changes seen in performance art in the 19th century with the advent of motion pictures. The film industry changed the world of performance art, allowing the art form to be preserved and shared. As a result, it became a much more accessible art form than it previously was. 

With platforms such as TikTok and Likee, cosplayers have truly and fully become one-person theatre crews. Not only are they responsible for their cosplays (wigs, makeup, outfits, and props), they also take charge of their lighting and even editing of the short videos they create on those video platforms. Fully-fledged storylines and shows can be found on the different video platforms, with cosplayers working together or individually to develop stories and performance pieces.

Quarantine has canceled many of the conventions and meetups where cosplayers would collaborate and show off their cosplayers. However, the digital world is one where cosplayers have turned to and thrived. More and more platforms keep appearing as the art continues to evolve. It’s an evolution to not only keep an eye on but to look forward to. 

What does cosplay have to do with gender fluidity? 

Cosplay is the art of becoming someone else, of putting on a performance. It’s not the same thing as being in the closet. This is stepping away from whatever mantle of compulsive heteronormativity is forced on a person and letting it all fall away. There are few expectations of gender in cosplay. 

Though drag and cosplay are not to be confused, there can often be overlap, even if they are similar. Both are performance arts, but there is a crucial difference. With cosplayer, the performer becomes the character they want to portray. Drag, on the other hand, is expressed through gender. Some combine both, like the now-retired Phi Phi O’Hara.

Cosplay Central has also featured drag cosplayers on their Facebook and featured an article about how there are more and more drag cosplayers in the cosplay community. 

There are a few terms used when a cosplayer cosplays a character who isn’t their gender. Crossplay, a portmanteau of “cosplay” and “crossdresser,” is used to describe this type of cosplay. Derogatory stereotypes have arisen from this, and there have been parodies of cosplayers who blur the lines of genders from outside the cosplay community. 

But within the cosplay community?

It’s a common enough sight. For some, it could even be a safe form of gender exploration in an otherwise highly structured and heteronormative world. There are silicone chests, both masculine and feminine, available for cosplayers. Chest binders have become easy to access, and there are various tutorials on safe chest binding. Gender euphoria, in cosplay at least, is an easy reach.

Online Harassment 

Online harassment has been an issue for years. In a 2017 study done by Pew Research, online harassment is referred to as a “feature” of being active online. This is even more prevalent when it comes to harassment faced by people of the global majority. Race, almost overwhelmingly so, is the motivation behind harassment and hate crimes. The hate crime statistics released by the FBI for the year of 2019 is evidence that race is a motivator for over 50% of all hate crimes. 

The way this kind of harassment and hate crimes happen online can be through a variety of ways, such as leaving slur-filled messages in comment sections, threatening with doxxing and physical threats, and so on. 

And within the niche community of cosplay, this is still pertinent. This harassment faced by the community comes from those outside of it and from those inside. There’s an unhealthy (and mainly Eurocentric) standard of beauty when it comes to cosplayers. The ideal bar for cosplayers, and what has become the goal in the community, is slender and pale. These are the types of cosplayers who, especially on platforms like TikTok, have shot to stardom overnight because of their looks and proportions. 

Not all cosplayers look the same, though. And for that, for not looking like carbon copies of (sometimes ridiculously so) anime or game characters, many have received hate. 

Bunny, commonly known by their TikTok username @bunnyzvi (their Instagram username is @zea.virunas), is an East Coast plus-sized POC cosplayer who joined the community within the past three years. For Bunny, cosplay isn’t just a form of expression but a way to explore their creativity and confidence. 

“I remember seeing this one article about a plus-sized POC woman, and I couldn’t get her out of my head. She made characters I love my size, and in a darker skin tone, and I just marveled in the hard work and creativity,” explains Bunny about how they first fell in love with cosplay. 

It’s cosplayers who lose themselves to their creativity, who hone their makeup skills until it’s as if they’re an illusion and not a person. It’s these cosplayers who, in the words of Bunny, “make the world magical.” 

“Because I had heard so many horror stories about the [cosplay] community and seen some stuff myself, and here she was rising about all that and being her, and different and I wanted to be like her. I still do,” Bunny says about the unknown cosplayer who inspired them to begin cosplaying instead of staying on the sidelines as an audience member. 

But horror stories? Surely the harassment in the cosplay community can’t be bad enough to be called horror stories. Right? 

Think again. Discrimination is nothing new in the cosplay world. 

While communities are groups of people brought together by common factors, there are still clashes. This varies from racism to homophobia to sexism, all of these issues and more can be found within the cosplay community. 

“The [cosplay] community can be pretty harsh if you don’t fit their standards. Being POC, being plus-sized, not being “canon.” Which, that one right there is a very toxic phrase and mental state,” says Bunny. 

Bunny has heard stories of cosplayers being bullied off their platforms and “posted to websites without consent where people would rip them apart.” Fitting the idea of “canon” has become a toxic expression that can push cosplayers out of the community because the word makes them think they don’t have the right look in order to cosplay. Or, in other words, they don’t fit the mold of slender and pale. And, even then, the cosplayers who do will be picked apart for being “too fat” or not having enough curves. It’s a toxic cycle. 

“I have witnessed my friends called slurs and comments made about them destroying characters if they cosplay game characters or anime, even normal shows and movies like X-Men and the like,” adds Bunny. 

When it comes to personal experiences, Bunny tends to cosplay original characters because of what they experienced the two times they cosplayed from someone else’s source material.

“My weight came into play, and then my color...but I think my least favorite thing, as a light-skinned POC, is [that] I have been told I’m too ‘white’ to play a character of color more than once. And that one really resided with me because one of my dream cosplays is Tiana from The Princess and the Frog. On the other end of the spectrum, when I’m not having an experience like that, I will get pushed at POC characters, or ones that ‘may have been but we aren’t sure because [they] are pink or purple, green,’ etc.,” is Bunny’s explanation. 

POC-coded characters can be found in media such as Steven Universe. Bunny uses the example of Garnet, Bismuth, and Amethyst to explain what POC-coded characters are. 

“These characters are gems of different colors, features, and sizes. Based off [of] voice, behaviors, clothing, and the like, people say things like ‘a person like you could do’ Garnet, Bismuth, Amethyst,” adds Bunny.

The characters mentioned by Bunny and the ones that have been mentioned to them are also the larger ones in the series. 

Bunny explains that “people don’t want to see characters they like as plus-sized.” 

That isn’t to say that there aren’t plus-sized cosplayers, but those with a platform can be difficult to find. And what the cosplay community considers to be plus-sized often isn’t plus-sized. One of those considered plus-sized is Alice Infinity, a professional cosplay model. She’s seen firsthand how the cosplay community treats plus-sized cosplayers versus those on the smaller side. 

“Plus-size cosplayers get turned down more often for cosplay shop sponsorships and get shared significantly less than non-plus-size cosplayers on social media platforms,” explains Alice Infinity. 

She adds that she herself has been “purposefully excluded or cropped out of from group pictures by photographers” because she wasn’t as small as other cosplayers. 

Alice Infinity has seen these things happen to other cosplayers, including those she’s friends with, who consider themselves to be plus-sized. 

But it’s not all bad. 

“I have seen a growth in the way plus-sized cosplayers are treated. It’s still not equal, but I have seen growth,” adds Alice Infinity. 

Just in the last three years, she has seen “[cosplay] shops offer plus-size options for costumes when they previously didn’t have that.” This is a big step considering most cosplay shops create their costumes following Asian sizing standards. 

“And people have talked about more inclusivity in the past three years more than ever. More people are bringing to light the issue in the community. Both online and in the convention scene,” Alice Infinity goes on to explain. 

When asked about how the cosplay community can present a united front to show solidarity for plus-sized and POC cosplayers, this is what Alice Infinity had to say: “Awareness and listening. By listening to those affected and being aware of the issues, you can better understand what others are going through and by uplifting those voices so more can listen and learn.”

Solidarity and the cosplay community genuinely coming together as a community can help present a united front against harassment and discrimination.

“Being there for each other. Shutting down the bullies and holding bigger platforms to be the example” is what Bunny says should be done.

Cosplayers and Euphoria

What is gender euphoria? 

Gender euphoria is part of the transgender experience, even if it may not be the first word that comes to mind when thinking about the transgender experience. Dysphoria might come to mind instead, especially for someone closeted or not fully out. Add misgendering to the mix and the overall heteronormative standards of modern society, and achieving gender euphoria can seem far off in the distance or entirely impossible. 

Dysphoria in terms of gender is the stress someone can feel because of their gender identity, and their sex assigned at birth does not match. Body dysmorphia can go hand in hand with this since there’s a disconnect from the body. This can complicate into a deadly extreme with disheartening statistics. There’s a higher rate of suicide within the transgender community and those with gender dysphoria than the rest of the population. Many support groups have sprung up due to this, and Trans Lifeline is one of them.

Gender euphoria is the exact opposite of gender dysphoria. It’s the happiness and comfort that comes with knowing their gender identity is their own. It can be either physical (the way the person dresses or if they’ve gotten gender reassignment surgery) or the way they’re treated by the people around them. Gender euphoria doesn’t focus solely on the body. It can be as simple as not being misgendered. 

For some, cosplay is a way to not only safely explore their gender but to reach gender euphoria. For others, it’s a sense of fulfillment that comes with becoming someone else and allowing the worries of the day-to-day to melt away. 

The way this is achieved when it comes to assigned female at birth cosplayers is through chest binding. There are a few ways to do it safely. First, binders (not to be confused with the office staple, they are made out of compression fabric and are similar to tank tops) are used to flatten chests.

Other ways include using athletic or medical tape to tape down chests. Much like how fashion tape can be used to hold clothes in place, this method helps to create the illusion of a muscled, male chest versus a female one. Another option is through the use of silicone torsos that emulate a female or male chest. These are worn directly over bare skin and can be extremely realistic.

A few cosplayers sat down to explain their thoughts and feelings on these subjects, one of them a returning voice. Some identify as one of the identities underneath the trans umbrella; others identify as cisgender (sex assigned at birth). 

Bunny 

Bunny is a POC cosplayer who identifies as non-binary and goes by primarily they/she pronouns; sometimes, they are comfortable with being referred to as “he”. One of their reasons for why they cosplay is to try on different looks and play around with how they express their gender identity. 

“[Cosplay is] mostly judgment-free from my family that does not understand my gender identity,” explains Bunny. It’s a safe way for them to further explore within themselves who they are through the creation of original characters and through cosplaying characters from different media. It brings them gender euphoria. 

And if they could give themselves a piece of advice for when they first started cosplaying? 

“Be patient and kind with yourself; the skills will come,” is what Bunny would say to their past self. 

Kocola 

A cisgender female cosplayer, Kocola goes by she/her pronouns. Exploring her gender through cosplay has made it clear to her that she doesn’t question her gender identity. For Kocola, cosplay is a way to explore her creativity and push herself out of her creative comfort zones. 

Pushing herself out of her comfort zone has involved cross-playing in the past. “I just liked to see if I could pull the character off,” is what Kocola explains about her past adventures. 

But, like for Bunny, cosplay always gives her a huge confidence boost. “It’s helped me see more than just the negatives when I look in the mirror,” says Kocola. She adds that the best advice she could give to herself, and anyone starting, is to just go for it. “Don’t care about what others think; you will enjoy it, have fun, and meet so many people that will accept you for all your weirdness. Screw everyone else.” 

That Mando Cosplayer 

As a cisgender male, That Mando Cosplayer goes by he/him pronouns. He’s also another cosplayer who feels sure of his gender identity. Although he’s just starting to enter the world of cosplay as a participant rather than a viewer, his reasoning for cosplaying is the same as most people’s: to become someone else. 

That Mando Cosplayer explains that what drew him was “an escape, however brief from life, to worlds that [he] wanted to be in [as a child].” It’s something that he focuses on while finishing his costumes for his upcoming debut at DragonCon in Atlanta, Georgia, later this year; the act of escaping from the humdrum of reality and becoming a warrior in a mythical world. 

He does have a piece of advice to share for other cosplayers, be they beginners or experts, and it’s to “loosen up.” It’s okay if the costume being crafted isn’t perfectly built or a canon replica; what matters is enjoying it. 

Tempus Lunam 

This cosplayer first started by going to her local Renaissance Faire and originally dressed up solely for that. Then, Tempus Lunam went to her first DragonCon and fell in love with the world of cosplay. 

As a cisgender female going by she/her pronouns, Tempus Lunam is comfortable with her gender identity and has never used cosplay to explore it. Instead, she uses cosplay to explore her femininity on her terms and how it makes her happy. Cosplaying gives her confidence and makes her happy by raising her self-esteem. 

It’s along that line of thought that she gives her piece of advice. “Being afraid of what others think shouldn’t be what stops you from having fun,” says Tempus Lunam, “the people that judge you poorly will see themselves out.” 

Chrisy 

A genderfluid artist who goes by she/they pronouns, Chrisy got into the world of cosplay during college. Cosplay, for them, is a form of expression. So while Chrisy doesn’t crossplay, they do play with adding or removing overly feminine and masculine traits from the characters they do cosplay for flexibility and comfort. 

“When I used to constantly do it [cosplay], it was liberating,” says Chrisy of their hobby, “now it’s more of an admirable passion.” Time is one of the constraints that all cosplayers fight with and, if Chrisy had more time in the future, they’d cosplay LGBTQ+ characters. It’s a subject they feel needs to “be respected and equalized” for those who want to cosplay those characters.

And when it comes to their tidbit of advice?

“Don’t stop,” says Chrisy, “break boundaries, stereotypes, break everything that could be considered a limitation, just don’t kill anyone in the process.”

DizzyDarling 

DizzyDarling goes by she/they pronouns, “but other pronouns don’t bother me,” she explains. And when asked to describe their gender identity? She says, “female or femme presenting non-binary.”  

She’s been cosplaying for 14 years now and started the hobby after going to conventions. “I like the idea of losing myself in a character, of being someone other than myself for a day,” explains DizzyDarling about how she started. It was all about meeting people with the confidence that came from being someone else. It also allowed her to play around with her appearance without committing to a look or presentation. Doing so has given her a rise in confidence where she’s started wearing things she otherwise wouldn’t have in public. 

“It [cosplay] has let me break down stereotypes in my head of how I should dress or act and allowed me to realise I was non-binary in the first place,” says DizzyDarling. Doing so has given her complete confidence in the way she expresses her personality and gender identity that is solely hers. As a result, it’s allowed her to fully discover herself and learn things about herself that she may not have otherwise known. 

And when it comes to giving advice to her younger self and other cosplayers?

“Just do it. Don’t worry about your weight, or your face, or your level of skill. You will have so, so much fun.” 

Cosplay_Display

A genderfluid cosplayer who goes by he/they pronouns, Cosplay_Display has been cosplaying for nearly eight years now. They first started out of a love of anime in middle school and have been at it ever since. They realized they were genderfluid through cosplay, and they’ve since then used it to explore their identity. 

At first, Cosplay_Display only cosplayed male characters until they realized that there was a feminine side they wanted to explore too. “I then realized I was comfortable presenting that way [femininely] some days,” explains Cosplay_Display. It’s even led to a change in the way they dress on a day to day basis due to the confidence it brings them. 

“Go wild, go crazy,” says Cosplay_Display, “don’t be afraid of rejection or hate.” 

The Wandering Tori/Millie Monarch 

“I tend to be more gender non-conforming because I don't let gender define who I am and what I am capable of. Some days, I feel more masculine while others I feel more feminine, but I would rather just be me in whatever form I take,” says Millie Monarch about her gender identity. She doesn’t have a preference for the pronouns used for her and would rather simply be known as herself. 

It wasn’t until she started cosplaying that she began to think about her sexuality and gender identity. “When I started cross playing my male characters, I began to break down my understanding of gender/sexuality,” explains Millie Monarch about how she used cosplay to explore her identity. 

Doing so has allowed her to feel freer and more herself than she has in the past. It’s what she describes as “a crazy ride” that “will make you laugh and cry,” but that it’s completely worth it. 

“It [cosplay] will bring you to a better understanding of who you are, and it will open your entire world up more than you ever imagined it could,” explains Millie Monarch, “just be proud of yourself and keep trying. You got this.”